Quirl
The Quirli Shop

Quirl Merch

Kitchenwear for people who talk to their food processor. Puns pre-heated, slogans folded in gently, every item hand-whisked by Quirli.

Everything's sold out. Quirli bought it all.
Whisk Taker Tee with “Whisk Taker”
SOLD OUT

Whisk Taker Tee

£24

Soft organic cotton for people who add the chilli before tasting. Machine wash, speed 1.

Head Chef Apron with “Sous chef? I’m the chef.”
SOLD OUT

Head Chef Apron

£32

Heavy canvas, long ties, a pocket sized exactly for one emergency biscuit.

Let It Be Mug with “Speed 10 & let it be”
SOLD OUT

Let It Be Mug

£14

Holds 350 ml of tea, or one full blitz of existential calm. Lid not included, splatter guaranteed.

Beet Drop Tote with “Lettuce turnip the beet”
SOLD OUT

Beet Drop Tote

£18

Fits a week of veg, two baguettes and the shopping list you left on the fridge.

Varoma Drama Mitt with “Varoma drama”
SOLD OUT

Varoma Drama Mitt

£12

For lifting the steamer lid with the poise of a soap-opera reveal. Sold singly, like most socks.

Better Butter Tea Towel with “Butter late than never”
SOLD OUT

Better Butter Tea Towel

£11

100% linen. Dries dishes, flicks crumbs, and judges people who use it as a pot holder.

Reverse Mode Cap with “Reverse mode: on”
SOLD OUT

Reverse Mode Cap

£20

Wear it backwards to stir gently without shredding your dignity. Adjustable strap.

Pun Sticker Sheet with “I knead you, Dough-n’t panic, Rice rice baby, Simmer down”
SOLD OUT

Pun Sticker Sheet

£5

Four waterproof stickers for your laptop, lunchbox or the machine you whisper to at 7am.

Rolling Pin Hoodie with “This is how I roll (dough)”
SOLD OUT

Rolling Pin Hoodie

£45

Brushed fleece and a front pocket that fits a bench scraper. Proofing-drawer warm.

Born to Simmer Socks with “Born to simmer”
SOLD OUT

Born to Simmer Socks

£9

A matching pair, which is more than the dishwasher can say. One size fits most feet.

Did The Maths Magnet with “Quirli did the maths”
SOLD OUT

Did The Maths Magnet

£6

She converted grams, cups and your gran's "a good handful". Holds up to one takeaway menu.

Scrape Expectations Spatula with “Scrape expectations”
SOLD OUT

Scrape Expectations Spatula

£10

Gets the last 4% out of the bowl. A literary classic, now in heat-proof silicone.

Restock? Quirli's on it.

She's currently wearing all twelve items at once and says she'll put some back "once the timer goes off". We have not seen a timer.

No sign-up, no emails, no data. Just vibes and a faint smell of garlic.